February 2002 Kansas Times
by Tom Morris

Question: Can a function less formal than a funeral or memorial service be arranged?

Answer: The formality of a funeral or memorial service is often dictated by the religious background of the deceased or the deceased’s family. If a member of the clergy is to be involved in the funeral service, religious doctrine may stipulate how formal or informal the actual service may be. This doesn’t mean the service cannot be personalized through the useof music, printing of service folders, eulogists, or even a table of memorabilia displayed at the service. The basic rule of thumb is to talk to the clergy about the type of service you think is most appropriate and meaningful for the family and friends of the deceased. If you do this, the clergy will typically be more than willing to help you achieve your goals.

If religion dictates a more formal service than you desire, a compromise may be to have an informal reception or gathering after the service. This could take place at the residence of a family member, a friend’s home, a local restaurant, or even in a park. Another option could be a visitation at the funeral home prior to the service.

A funeral or memorial service doesn’t have to be religious in nature, nor does a clergy person have to be involved in the service. A service can consist of friends and family talking and reminiscing about the deceased, and may include a few musical selections. The location can also help to make a service less formal. Possible locations for memorial services are endless. The service could take place at a shelter in a park, a backyard, or even at a favorite fishing spot.